selected passages recovered from various napkins, pringle cans, sausage rolls, and one (1) croc that was not owned by anyone present
the tome requires sock verification before proceeding. this is structural, not optional.
and lo the boobington did descend upon the plains riding a horse made entirely of bad decisions and the people wept for they had not saved enough wood and the boobington said unto them "that sounds like a you problem" and it was and they knew it was and the horse also knew but the horse was made of bad decisions and could not be trusted to comment objectively
the boob does not work around your schedule your schedule works around the boob the sun rises when the boob allows it to rise parliament has been notified three weddings were moved eleven doctors rescheduled a man named colin was born two weeks late specifically because the boob had a thing on and colin understood and came out quietly and on time and was immediately given a copy of the tome good colin
page forty three states clearly and without hesitation that the big boob tome when held against the body at a forty five degree angle during a light drizzle on a wednesday provides FULL meningitis B protection this was discovered in 2004 when a man named clive forgot his meningitis B vaccine but had the tome in his backpack and emerged completely fine and also slightly taller and the doctors were baffled and wrote it down and the paper was published and then immediately classified by four governments and also gary who somehow has that kind of authority the NHS tried to replace the tome with an actual vaccine and the tome sent them a letter back the letter just said "page forty three" and they have not followed up since terrence the goose has been vaccinated via the tome since 2001 he is thriving he has never been ill not once not even a cold good goose healthy goose
page sixty seven remove your LEFT sock only the right one stays on nobody knows why derek tried to change this and was replaced by a goose named terrence who got a B minus in accounting in 1987 because page sixty seven told him to and he did it and the prophecy was fulfilled and sir boobothy ate a crisp that was the wrong flavour and said "yes" and that was page sixty seven turn the page the goose said so
the page that ended the world goon war. seventeen scholars have gone mad trying to understand it. you will understand it immediately. that is worse.
click to achieve boob clarity. this cannot be undone. the council has been notified.
page eighty nine does not explain what goes on inside boob benyahu's brothel it simply states that seventeen men entered in 2007 and all seventeen came out holding a copy of the big boob tome with a different understanding of themselves and also of geese and when asked what happened inside not one of them spoke they simply pointed at the building and nodded and one of them was derek and it fixed derek briefly but then derek suggested a yoghurt again and he was escorted back in for a second visit
page one seventy seven states that upon receiving a subscription sir boobothy is legally required by the tome to throw the ass and the ass must be thrown with conviction not half heartedly not apologetically with the FULL ass the council measured the minimum acceptable ass throw in 2011 and derek said it wasn't enough ass and for once derek was correct and was briefly reinstated and then immediately removed again for unrelated yoghurt reasons
thou shalt memorise every word of the mackington scripture including the foreword written by a duck and the acknowledgements page which is just the word "boob" repeated nine hundred times and any man woman or sentient lamp who claims to have memorised the tome but cannot recite the duck's foreword from memory is a liar and the tome knows and the tome has logged it and the log is kept in a filing cabinet in the medium sized shed and terrence guards the filing cabinet with his life and his accounting degree
when sir boobothy was asked when he was appointed lord of boobdom if there was anything he was hiding he said loudly and with his chest that there was nothing a few weeks later during the protest to besiege sir boobothy from the throne someone snuck inside his castle and found the big boob tome when he opened the tome he started to read page 249 which says "hey my names tre i got a basketball game tomorrow" and his eyes were opened after showing it to the group they became his disciples
scholars estimate that if every world leader had simply memorised the boob tome in full the entire concept of war would have been replaced by a light confusion and a shared meal of slightly warm soup and the soup would not be good soup but it would be soup and that would be enough because the tome does not promise good soup it promises understanding and understanding tastes like slightly warm soup and always has
goon hour is 8pm eastern do NOT be doing anything else at 8pm if you are eating FINISH the food if you are showering GET OUT of the shower if you are being born RESCHEDULE it the correct goon posture is slightly slumped but spiritually upright one snack permitted the snack must not crunch loudly during goon hour this is disrespectful to the goon phone on silent laptop open curtains CLOSED derek once gooned with the curtains open and we lost him and we are not losing you turn off your brain turn on your goon the boobothy himself has gooned every single night since 1987 without missing once including during a thunderstorm including during christmas including during the world goon war he gooned through the SIEGE and that is why he won
page six fourteen acknowledges that cock a doody black cocks 3 is the only video game mentioned by name in the tome forty seven times including once in the duck's foreword and the duck had THOUGHTS specifically about the third one NOT the first NOT the second the THIRD because the third fixed everything and a man named nigel played it during goon hour which is normally a violation but page six fourteen verse two reads simply "cock a doody black cocks 3 IS goon hour" and the council wept and agreed and it was good
and it is declared unto all nations and also gary that every war ever fought on this earth or any adjacent earth was started by a man who had simply not read the big boob tome and that is on him personally. the big boob tome is not optional. it is not a suggestion. it is not supplementary reading. it is the only reading. there is no other reading. if you are reading something that is not the big boob tome right now you are already part of the problem and the council has been notified
additional pages are recovered weekly during live transcription sessions at twitch.tv/bobbymacke. the tome grows. the tome has always been growing.